I'm on a diet

so no more macaroni and cheese for me for a while.

I started seeing a personal trainer a week ago, and he put me on this new diet. It seems in line with the "paleo" diet. Just speaking on the paleo diet right quick, the "eat like a caveman" explanation for it sounds ridiculous. "Our ancestors ate this, so this is how we are meant to eat." Since our ancestors hardly even lived to see their grandchildren, and also lived completely differently from how we do now, I can't see how applying their diet to modern humans makes sense. However, I do think that most of the nutritional ideas behind it are pretty sound.

This is for anyone who asks what I've been doing when they see I've made progress. Occasionally people expect you to tell them you've been drinking a magical potion, living your life as normal, and still losing weight. There is no secret, calorie restriction and exercise are the best way to lose weight. When you're eating on a calorie deficit, that does not mean you can eat one pint of ice cream per day and that is okay since it's under maintenance calories. Especially if you're exercising, you're going to need proper fuel for your body.

This is the menu my trainer has me on:

• Breakfast
  • 3 eggs scrambled in 1/2 tbsp coconut oil with sauteed onions and mushrooms (also cooked in coconut oil)
• Second Breakfast
  • 4oz tuna with 1c asparagus/broccoli/green veggie and 1/4c of dry roasted almonds
• Lunch
  • Spring mix salad with 4oz chicken/fish/shrimp and balsamic vinaigrette
• Snack
  • 5oz Greek yogurt and 1/4c dry roasted almonds
• Dinner
  • 4-6oz lean meat, 1c asparagus/broccoli/green stuff, 1 sweet potato or 1/4c dry, 3/4c cooked plain old fashioned oats

I can eat what I want on Saturday, but not go totally crazy. I track my calories on MyFitnessPal, and it will calculate your Basal Metabolic Rate for you if you set your activity level to "sedentary". The above menu adds up to 200-300 below BMR for me, and I feel STUFFED for most of the day. I love to eat in large quantities but it's hard to eat this much, and it's only about 1200 calories. That is truly impressive. I'll usually have another greek yogurt after I eat dinner, since I also work out, reducing my net calories even more. For flavor, I put lemon juice or salsa all over everything, because those are delicious and low calorie.

I do all of my meal prep on Sundays. I cook enough egg breakfasts and chicken for the work week. The salad and veggies are easy to throw in a tupperware container before work during the week. For tuna, I buy the lemon pepper tuna packets. It's less than 4oz but it tastes really good. You could easily make and measure your lemon pepper tuna out yourself, I just prefer to spend less time cooking everything on Sundays.

A note on portions: 4-6oz of chicken is about half of a chicken breast. 1/4c of whole almonds is a small handful (about the size of an egg). The 80 or 100 calorie individual greek yogurts are a little over 5oz and don't have a lot of sugar.

My next few posts will be about how I make this diet food delicious enough to want to eat repeatedly every day. Stay tuned.

Kale with Feta

ingredients:
4 oz crumbled feta cheese
16 oz bag of kale
3 tbsp apple cider vinegar
3 tbsp olive oil
1 cup chicken stock
salt and pepper to taste

hardware:
large nonstick pot with lid

procedure:

1. Measure your chicken stock out, we won't be using it all at once so go ahead and pour it into the measuring cup. Pour a bit into your pot. Turn the burner on medium-low heat and allow the chicken stock to get warm.
2. Grab some handfuls of kale and place them in the pot until you've got about 1/3 of the bag in the pot. Pour some of the chicken stock over it, 1 tbsp of the apple cider vinegar, and 1 tbsp of olive oil. Stir to coat the kale.
3. Repeat that 2 more times until all of the kale, vinegar, chicken stock, and olive oil are in the pot. Liberally apply salt and pepper.
4. Continually stir until the kale starts to reduce in size and becomes a deeper green. You don't want to overcook the kale. It should still have a crunch when you serve it.
5. Once the kale is sufficiently cooked, drain off the liquid you cooked it in.
6. Open the package of crumbled feta cheese and pour the whole thing onto a plate. We want small crumbles for this recipe so it will be evenly distributed. Smash the large pieces with a fork. I took a picture to demonstrate:



7. Pour the feta into the kale and mix well. Put the lid on and heat the kale and feta cheese together 3 - 5 minutes, until everything is warmed, stirring frequently.

comments:
So, I went to this conference at the Marriott Marquis in downtown Atlanta recently. They served excellent food all day long, and I didn't have to pay for it, so I tried EVERYTHING they put out, except some parfaits with strawberries, cause I don't like skrawburries (the little seeds, I can't deal). Anyway, they served this wilted kale with feta cheese one of the days, and it was amazing! I knew I had to make some of my own. This is what I came up with.

Tips for the Busy and Hungry

I am very busy. I work 40 hours a week, drive 1 - 1.5 hours one way in traffic to get to my job, and I TRY to go to the gym 3 - 5 days a week. I am completely exhausted about 65% of the time. The other 35%, I am sleeping. I know this because I just calculated it. I like numbers.

Since I'm always busy and I love to cook and eat, I have come up with a few ways to still eat well even though I don't feel like doing shit but flopping down on the couch and turning on Netflix when I get home. My friend Ashlyn asked me for some tips about this, and I know a lot of my friends are busy like I am, so I thought it would be beneficial to make this post.


1. Meal Prep

On Sundays when I'm off work, I like to cook a shitload of meat at one time. Enough meat for the entire work week of dinners. Usually this is chicken breasts (because dieting) or other delicious chicken parts, but sometimes I make a turkey meatloaf, turkey taco meat, meat sauce to go over pasta, whatever, as long as it's enough for the work week. I have all those recipes on here. The only problem with this is that if you don't make a versatile meat dish, then you have to eat the same thing over and over. I'm strange and I LOVE to repeatedly eat the same thing every day, until I find something else that I want to eat every day. But Trevor likes to eat completely different stuff every day, so he doesn't prefer that I do meal prep. It's all up to you. If you like to eat different stuff, make something versatile that you can make varied meals out of. Chicken is just perfect for this because with it you can make salads, tacos, pastas, eat it by itself, etc., etc.

2. Frozen Steam-In-Bag Veggies

These are truly a lifesaver. They are so damn awesome. They taste pretty fresh, and all you have to do is pop them in the microwave for a few minutes. You can season them right in the bag and just pour them onto the plate, so it also saves dishes! Like I said, amazing. So efficient, such extra free time. If you get asparagus, you can steam it in the bag, pull it out and open it up, pour in your lemon juice, some butter, salt and pepper, and you have a top-notch side dish. They also have ones that are already fixed up, like potatoes and green beans in butter sauce. I like to add seasoned salt and some Italian blend cheese to these, it's to die for. My rule on pre-packaged stuff is that you must add things to it before it can be truly delicious.

3. Rotisserie. Fucking. Chicken.

Chicken is like my family (if you haven't seen the video this references then you must look up "King Curtis" on YouTube immediately). Whoever decided to start cooking and selling rotisserie chicken in grocery stores deserves a Nobel peace prize, for bringing peace to hungry on-the-go stomachs all across America. I pick one of these up almost every time I go to the grocery store. It lasts us a few days, and it's so versatile, as chicken is wont to be. It's also very inexpensive, about $6 for an entire chicken that's already cooked. I'll take it! And rip into it with my bare hands. And eat it like a savage.

4. Pre-Washed, Pre-Cut Vegetables

Prepping to cook takes a whole lot of time. Mainly because I'm still not very quick with a knife, but also because my knives aren't very sharp anymore (hello Trevor this is a great birthday present idea). So when I'm shopping for produce to make a meal, if I can find the pre-washed, pre-cut stuff, I will absolutely buy that every time. Of course, someone else washed and cut it, so you can't exactly know that it's been done perfectly, but it doesn't bother me at all. God made dirt, dirt don't hurt, or whatever it is people say. I don't even believe in God, but I still eat the pre-washed pre-cut produce.


So those are my tips. If you have any of your own to share, hit me up on facetwittergram. Also, I'd like to start doing a guest spot for recipes, so if you have any you'd like featured, again you can hit me up on social media. Thanks for reading, if you made it this far!

Ground Turkey Potato Casserole

ingredients:
1 large yellow onion
3 cloves of garlic
2 large russet potatoes
1.25 lb ground turkey
1 tbsp. olive oil
2 cans cream of mushroom soup
1.5 cups heavy cream
1 cup milk
a few dashes of paprika
salt and pepper to taste
enough butter or margarine to line your baking pan
2 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese, or your favorite cheese

hardware:
9x13x2 metal baking pan
large mixing bowl
large saute pan
aluminum foil

procedure:

1. Preheat the oven to 400°. Slice your onion however you like, finely dice the garlic. Set these aside, then peel and cut the potatoes. For this dish, I cut mine in half length-wise and then thinly sliced them into half-moon pieces. Once the potatoes are cut, put them in the large mixing bowl.
2. Heat the olive oil in the saute pan over medium-high heat, then add the ground turkey. Once it begins to brown, add the onions and garlic, the paprika and salt to your taste. You don't want to overcook the onions here, since they will continue to cook in the oven.
3. Once the turkey is browned, remove it from the heat and add your milk and cream to the large mixing bowl, then your cans of soup, and stir. Pour the turkey/onion/garlic mixture in with it, add salt and pepper (I like lots of salt and pepper) and stir to combine.
4. Line your baking pan on all sides with the butter or margarine. Of course you can use olive oil or nonstick spray here, but I like to have butter with my potatoes.
5. Pour the casserole mixture into the buttered baking pan, and then cover it with the aluminum foil. Bake for 30 minutes.
6. After 30 minutes, remove the pan from the oven and remove the aluminum foil. Put it back in the oven and bake for 25 more minutes.
7. Remove the pan from the oven and sprinkle the cheese over the top of the casserole. The entire top of the casserole should be covered, including the edges. Bake for another 5 minutes to melt the cheese. If you like your cheese browned, bake it for longer and keep an eye on it.

comments:
I'm REALLY creative with the names of my recipes, huh? I'm boring and predictable, sorry.

Anyway, this would be great with some mushrooms, but I didn't have any on hand at the time. I love mushrooms. I'll put onions and mushrooms in absolutely anything.

The side item I made for this was lemon pepper green beans, and the lemon flavor was a good balance to the savory casserole. I almost always make my green beans like this, because it's fucking delicious. I'll get a recipe for them up soon. I have to actually measure stuff to make a recipe, and I'm used to just throwing everything together.

Additional note, the magical Trevor ate the shit out of this. I looked over at him after he tasted it and he was just nodding and doing a little dance. I took that to mean he really liked it. He also called it "bomb-ass". "Bomb-Ass Casserole" was his name for this dish.

Honey Cinnamon Syrup

ingredients:
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 cup warm water
1 clementine
3/4 tsp cinnamon powder
1/4 cup honey

hardware:
nonstick pot
chef's knife

procedure:

1. Put the water in the pot and add the sugar, stir to begin dissolving as you heat over medium-high heat.
2. Cut the clementine in half and squeeze each half into the pot. Squeeze the clementine in one hand, palm up, so you can catch any rogue seeds that might be present.
3. Add the cinnamon and honey, stir it all together. Bring to a boil.
4. Stir constantly until the mixure thickens, about 10 minutes or so.

comments:
This is good served with fruit over pancakes or waffles, you can add it to oatmeal, whatever you want. Sometimes I get tired of plain ole maple syrup and make this to change it up a bit.

Buffalo Chicken Legs

ingredients:
1 package of 6 chicken drumsticks with skin
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. onion powder
1 tsp. garlic powder
1 tsp paprika
pepper to taste
few dashes of ground red pepper, to taste
2 tbsp. olive oil
Frank's Red Hot Buffalo Sauce
optional:
1 cup panko breadcrumbs
1 egg, beaten
brine:
3 tbsp. salt
1/4 cup lemon juice
5 cups hot water
1.5 cups of ice

hardware:
baking pan
aluminum foil
1 or 2 shallow bowls
1 small plate
large mixing bowl

procedure:

1. The night before you plan on cooking the chicken, you should brine it. This part is optional, but I feel it makes a huge difference in the flavor of the chicken. In a large tupperware container with a lid, dissolve the salt in the hot water and add the lemon juice. Add the ice to cool it down and make sure it is cold before adding the raw chicken. Put the lid on and soak the chicken in the fridge overnight.
2. Preheat the oven to 425°.
3. Prepare your dry rub in one of the bowls by combining all of the spices and optionally, the breadcrumbs. If you want a crispier chicken skin, use the breadcrumbs. If you are using the breadcrumbs, break the egg in the other bowl and lightly beat it. If you are not using the breadcrumbs, pour the olive oil onto the small plate.
4. Remove the chicken from the brine and dry it well with paper towels. If you are using the breadcrumbs, dip each of the chicken legs into the egg, then cover the skin with the breading mixture. If you are not using the breadcrumbs, lightly coat the chicken in the olive oil and then spoon the dry rub over the chicken and rub it into the skin with your fingers. Yes, this is messy, but worth it. Also, be wary of doing this if you have any cuts on your fingers, because ground red pepper burns like hell.
5. Cover the baking pan in aluminum foil and put the chicken onto it. Bake at 425° for about 45 minutes. Use a meat thermometer to ensure the chicken is at least 160° inside. Be sure not to place the thermometer right next to the bone, but deep into the meat of the chicken.
6. When the chicken is cooked through, remove from the pan and put it into the large mixing bowl. Drizzle with the buffalo sauce, toss until well coated.

comments:
I've made this two weekends in a row now, it is that good. The first time, I made it with the breadcrumbs but didn't really feel that they added much to the equation other than calories. I'm sure some people would like it better that way, so I included them in the recipe. The second time I made it was my favorite, just using the dry rub. It's absolutely delicious and not nearly as bad for you as flour-breaded and deep-fried chicken wings.

Turkey Taco Meat

ingredients:
1.5 lb ground turkey
1 package fresh mushrooms (sliced and cleaned, if you're lazy like me)
1 or 2 bell peppers, diced
1 white onion, diced
1 tbsp olive oil 1.5 tsp salt
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp chili powder
1/2 tsp garlic powder
3/4 tsp paprika
5 tsp lime juice
few dashes of ground red pepper, to taste
pepper to taste
your fave taco fixins

hardware:
large deep pan
cutting board
chef's knife
spatula

procedure:

1. Heat the olive oil in the pan over medium heat. When hot, add the onions, mushrooms, and peppers. Add 1/2 tsp of salt and the pepper; saute until the onions begin to turn translucent.
2. Add the turkey to the pan and turn it up to a bit above medium, incorporating it with the vegetables. Add each of your spices to the mixture, including the rest of the salt and the lime juice, and stir well.
3. Cook until the turkey meat is browned.

comments:
I really love mushrooms a lot, and I'm not the biggest fan of bell peppers. So I make this with one whole package of mushrooms and one green bell pepper. I dice the bell pepper and leave the mushrooms just sliced, because I like their texture. If you aren't on a diet or watching your weight like we are, please make this with beef! I'm sure it would be delicious. As with all of my recipes, please modify it to your taste.

This is SO quick and easy after a long day of work, slicing the vegetables is the most difficult part. I like to make kind of a taco salad out of mine with lettuce, cheese, salsa, sour cream, and guacamole, eaten with tortilla chips. Trevor eats his on a soft taco. It's a very versatile base for a meal, experiment with it!